Archive for road rage

The 10 Road Rage Commandments…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on July 13, 2015 by Jay Isip

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Driving behind the wheel is stressful, especially in New Jersey. I understand that road rage is a subtlety in our country, let alone our state. People behind the wheel can’t bear to stand others on the road; especially if they can’t drive–or more likely can’t drive in favor for them. Most people behind the wheel, act is if, they are the only people who have somewhere to go, in a rush to get somewhere, or they’re Paul Walker (R.I.P) driving a 1995 Mitsubishi Eclipse—relax!

I’m sorry if everyone is not swift with the steering wheel as you think you are.

Your road rage is actually a symbolization of how you deal with life; if you can’t keep your composure while you drive–then you can’t keep your composure when things are not going your way. When your emotions rise into anger just because of some little driving incident that didn’t go as you wish, is a sign that you can’t handle real life situations. When life hits at you hard, you cry, scream, and complain about others and blame them for their so-called, bad driving.

Basically, you’re a little spoiled, 4 year-old brat, that stomps their feet when the parent doesn’t buy them a toy. Yeah, that’s you. You’re a little brat bastard.

…or, maybe I’m bitter because I suck at driving, but at least I have an excuse–I’m Asian, and it’s in my blood! My driving track record isn’t the cleanest either. The following is a SMALL list in car incidentals…

  1. DUI
  2. DWI
  3. Four totaled cars
  4. Seven accidents (on record)
  5. but NO driving violations–ever.

I am the person that all you road raging addicts get Fast & Furious with. It’s not nice to get mad at others because of their handicap driving skills; well I’m not an angel either–I’m guilty for making others get mad because I sometimes purposely drive like shit, so the other driver flips-out; it makes me laugh. I understand that my driving kind of sucks, so I use it to my advantage to selfishly make myself giggle at others road rage.

So, I’m not really upset about people with road rage, because I know they are only truly hurting themselves by being such a bitch.

Road rage is not what really bothers me on the road; I actually thoroughly enjoy watching someone get pissed off, as I shine my first-grade smile at them to create more rage behind their wheel…

What really grinds my transmission, is when people act nice behind the wheel but and then, act like a jerk-off after they had just offered courtesy. The drivers, who TRY to be courteous, are the drivers that piss me off. It’s like; why are you going to ACT courteous, if you’re really a jerk-off? If you are a jerk-off behind the wheel, then that is completely fine with me. Cut me off and flip me the bird for all I care; I’m still going to continue to drive along with my day. But, don’t act one way, and then change your mind because your courtesy has not been appreciated soon enough for you.

My Turning Point

I was driving along with my brother Pete Isip, and current girlfriend Alyssa (this was actually about a week ago) and we were driving past the 7-Eleven on the corner on Hancox and Passaic Ave. located in Nutley NJ. I understand that I am not the best of drivers so I am extremely cautious when I am behind the wheel; especially for the safety of my passengers. Now, I’m dead stop at the corner trying to execute a proper left turn onto Passiac Ave; but of course, there are obstacles. Passing by to my left are cars, on cars, on cars so, it’s almost impossible to even sneak up past the one lane. In the further lane, there was a man inside of a black Dodge Ram and he looked like Patrick Swayze with a mushroom haircut. He seemed like a super cool dude, and at first he was; he gave me the hand signal to go first before he makes his left turn into the 7-Eleven parking lot—what a nice guy! The cars keep zooming by to my left without anyone letting me turn. I’m patient enough to wait my turn, but it started to seem that Patrick, was beginning to get furious as he frays his hand in the air, and lightly smacks his forehead.

“Would you go already!” generic Patrick Sawyze screamed.

I said back, “How am I supposed to turn? There are 100 cars zooming past me.”

“Jesus Christ! Just go!” Patrick yelled back.

It’s apparent to me this guy must be blind because he can’t see the cars driving past me, the family of baby ducks in the crosswalk with their mother, and the Wall of China, that is obviously obscuring my righter way. I guess Generic Patrick Swayze could only see a “GHOST” and not physical objects or people.

I yelled back, “How the hell do you expect me to go?”

“You’re a fucking asshole!” said Patrick.

Now, we are slowly forming an accumulation of insults that will hopefully burst into a fireball of fury. I’m not really mad, but I keep adding fuel to the fire by yelling back because I knew this would become great dialogue for this post.

“Go fuck yourself you prick!” I semi-sarcastically yell.

“What you say? Are you crazy?” Patrick Swayze angrily asked.

“I’ll kick your ass!” I yelled back.

Little did he know I always carry a Proton Pack under my driver’s seat, so he would have been toast if he made a move—I ain’t afraid of no ghosts!

Ghostbusters_proton_pack_reveal

“WHAT!” Patrick yelled again.

He finally decided to make a screeching left turn into the 7-Eleven parking lot; parked his car and hopped out—fuming. All of a sudden, his hair is slicked back, sleeves a cut-off, and had a lit cigarette hanging from his shit talker; and now had transformed into Patrick Swayze from Road House. It’s now obvious this Patrick was a not only a ghost—but a demon that wanted to start Dirty Dancing.

I said again, “Seriously. How did you expect me to turn! Don’t let me go, if you have no patients. Asshole!”

“FUCK YOU!” Patrick screamed.

He stands there in a casual fighting stance like Clint Eastwood with both arms to the side and definitely ready for war—a war I wasn’t going to engage, only because this was all too funny.

I continue to scream and shoot hard looks but only out of enjoyment—not out of anger. I drove away slowly and finally got to make my left turn.

Like I said, if it wasn’t for Patrick Swayze look-a-like; I wouldn’t have a story to write—kudos for the mini argument to get my point across for this article.

My point again, don’t offer someone courtesy, if you quick on pulling back your offer. If you are going to be courteous, then stay courteous. If you’re going to be an asshole, then stay an asshole—I respect both.

10 Road Rage Commandments–well, my road rage commandments…

  1. Don’t give me the hand signal to go first, and then get upset if I don’t proceed fast enough.
  2. If I give you the hand signal to go first, then go first; don’t wave the signal back at me because I’m just going to wave it right back at you, and vice-versa–now, the courtesy war had just gone to a whole new level.
  3. Don’t honk at me at a “No Turn on Red” stop light, while I’m in the right turn only lane. Seriously, have some patients and more importantly—it’s the law!
  4. When a light just turns green, there should be a three-second window before honking to move; anything before that, I will make you wait longer on purpose.
  5. When honking at me, you get 2 honks—anything more than that you shall be penalized. Oh, and don’t lean on the horn because now we’re fist fighting.
  6. When picking someone up, you have unlimited honks–it’s not rude to honk like crazy when you’re picking up someone at their house–honk away!
  7. Don’t ever expect courtesy from other drivers, and when you don’t receive your “proper” courtesy—you don’t have the privilege to get upset.
  8. Don’t drive up my ass, why do you have to drive so close to my car, just because you want to go faster? Drive around jerk-off! Next time I’m braking short so we get into an accident—don’t matter to me, it wouldn’t be my first rodeo!
  9. While at a stop light, don’t pull up to my right just to get a head start in front—if you ask then I will let you go, no problem. I have a problem about the tick foolery of pretending to make a right turn, and then you peel out like a drag racer just to get in front of me. I hope you get a ticket–eventually.
  10. Four way stop sign—I’m going first, always.

Obey the “10 Road Rage Commandments” and your life, both inside and outside of the vehicle, will be much easier. Driving is a very emotional procedure, it controls our moods that we will carry throughout the day—yet we have no control of others on the road. But, maybe that’s why we get distorted emotions in the first place; because we have no control. Have control of your time behind the wheel, and let everything else on the road—drive its course….

www.happychasinghappy.com

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